It's my sister's birthday today...What should I say? "I'm sorry I didn't get you any presents, but it's only so that our brother didn't feel so bad..."
18, wow. The age when you are become able to legally do everything you've been doing since you were 14! At least in Alberta, anyway. Yeah that's right. We're from that place. We shoot cans, shit in outhouses, and eat nothing but beef, cause it's beettr than the rest o yallz beef!
You know what else? You are now legally allowed to buy a gun, which I hope you get on top of doing real soon, preferably before you try to step foot in any one of the kiddie pens in our city that we like to call "nightclubs" with any of your girlie friends. Those so-called men don't really need those things down there, do they? So if they try anything, make sure to let them know loud and clear that the closest they're getting to you with that dangly thing is if you decide to be civil and donate it to the hospital for transplants when you (or someone who loves you dearly...:3 ) cuts them off, instead of putting them through a grinder, like I'd be more inclined to do... I'm sorry, am I getting too morbid? Maybe I'm just feeling extra brilliant thanks to my...
CRACKCRUMBS!
Here are some useful tips for your night out, instead of something random.
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